For Ntozake Shange

when I went looking 

for answers

I found them in books,

words, silence,

turning pages 

in hope of some new thing,

feeling,

hope.

when I found you

laying upon my grandmother's dresser

I overlooked you--

repeating the world's greatest mistake--

I took you

for granted.

when I went in search of myself

there you were again

in the shadows

outlining all the pain

my mother

never let slip

yet. 

when I finally saw you

it was after dawn--

you left us--

but you will always be in the wind

pushing, watching, casting

midnight spells.

when I listened

and heard you speak

your voice

taught me

there's nothing selfish 

in a Black girl

spending time

with

her

self.